My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
