hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
