Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
