I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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