Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
