As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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