arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
