last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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