NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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