R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
