Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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