I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
