dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Randomize
