She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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