Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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