If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
