Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
