All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
