U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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