8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
