He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
