Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
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Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
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I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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