I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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