Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
