Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
