i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Enjoy the penises
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
