He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
