and my herpes radar will keep us safe
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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