.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
