just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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