who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
