So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
