Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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