I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
