Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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