bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize