Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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