It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
