You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize