The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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