I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
