I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
