Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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