I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize