I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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