Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
