Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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