Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
