I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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