The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
