We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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