May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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