i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
