Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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