Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
