I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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