this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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