I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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