at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
