I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
