You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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