hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
