got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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