so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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