Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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