I just saw a hot homeless man
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
