I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
