If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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