matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize