oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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