I'm drive I can fine osifer
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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