What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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